When I first got to know today’s podcast guest, she and her wife were beginning the process of becoming foster parents. I remember the bike ride we were on when Monica told me that they’d secured their license after a very rigorous process. They were elated and ready to open up their home to kids who needed love and support.
Like most people, I knew next to nothing about how that all worked, what questions to ask, much less how to be supportive. I mean, I’m usually the one at the party asking the 8 year old how their 401K is coming along, or trying to feed the baby a Snickers. I generally have no idea what I’m doing around kids, much less the ins and outs of the foster care system. But as Monica and her wife, Jen, grew their family, I’ve been beyond lucky to be included in their community. I’ve had an education about what it looks like to love unconditionally, how to meet kids where they’re at emotionally, and to ride alongside the complexity of growing a family through foster care.
If there was one moment that I think illustrates the values that guide their family, it was this. Monica and Jen had gotten an urgent call to pick up an infant in the NICU, so their daughter Isabella (who they’d adopted as a foster child), was picked up from school by a friend of the family. When this friend started to explain why Jen and Monica weren’t there to pick her up, without missing a beat, 6 year old Isabella said, “Oh, I know. Sometimes there are babies that need someone to keep them safe. And they need a mama, so mine had to go.”
In short, keep an eye on this kid. She’s got more emotional intelligence and wisdom in her pinkie toe than most of us find over a lifetime. To close out 2020, Monica talks to me about this wild ride of foster parenting and what it’s meant to her family.
Please enjoy Episode 10: Monica Martinez, Mama!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/21kxJ7kzfijbeRlADyxk5X?si=gUopg7G_Q8OcANoI7zDxDg
